2024/6/4

2024 is the year of surgery for me😅. I’m in hospital again. I was supposed to be admitted this morning but MKK messaged me last night saying there’s something wrong with my GDS file so I pulled up an all nighter to debug on zoom(which was terrifying and I really wanted to sleep). Also found out another contestant had another 2 weeks to work on the problem, while I didn’t sleep for two days to rush in everything within deadline. Snake.

This current room is very nice. nicer than the last one, it has a big window and a TV. Fabulous lighting. The woman next to me had infections/complications after previous surgery, she had stent in her heart, I don’t understand why the infection is in her leg. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if my dad had stents or lose some weight or quit smoking. Also secretly happy my mum looks young and healthy.

If I’m being completely honest, I’m still very tired. Very very tired. When I’m tired the human world looks like a ridiculous, pointless machine, sex looks like two white worms tangled together. I don’t know why or how, if its mental health or physical health, I recall myself used to not feel this way.