2023/5/25

Watched the devil wears Prada again.

This is such a toxic environment. She was starting to get Stockholm syndrome for her abuser. ‘When you have no personal life anymore you know you are doing something right at work.’ Lol. How I’ve been brainwashed in my first year. What a complete package of crap. Well I’ve always have a blurry line between work and life because I genuinely loved what I did, but if the personal life is suffering it’s a vampire job. Should’ve left the first day they humiliated her. It was a massive sign.

I also thinks it’s true the fashion industry doesn’t like women very much. Imagine- in what circumstance would you prefer a weak, thin fragile women that’s easily sick or to break her bone? For better control and abuse of course.

…

Took a nap and went painting. I can tell I’m not really into painting lol (at least not the wash up)

Will go until I finish all the lessons though

…

Cried in bed. It was so painful I curled up my body and it became a wail.

Why did I lose the ability to love? how did I lose all the hope? why am I a person so out of my character? A scared, angry, coward. A person that cannot think, cannot action, cannot be in peace.

I revised the sweetness, I revised the bitterness, the whole thing just need a symbolic death.

…

I told CC about the person I met in the park. Told her he looks like Travis Scott. 😂😂

You guys just meet? Like by chance?

Yeah. It’s very funny. I said. I’ve seen him three times during the last month. We just bump into each other in the park.

Then we had a discussion about Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott.

😂😂can I be honest??? Kylie Jenner is not going to be with this Travis guy. On and off relationship is not a relationship. CC explained to me she doesn’t like someone all focused on her, and she won’t do that to someone either.