2023/6/28

Had a very busy day.

Tired.

I know I’m doing the right thing now-Since I start to find the next step as difficult as finding a partner.

Like how my previous relationship has failed, my holiday marriage to a physics PhD has failed miserably too, if it’s a similar trajectory now I’m in the figure out the right thing and find devotion phase.

…

I find out, i’m incredibly cool and unbothered by the ‘prestige aura’.

I felt nothing in Oxford. I found it beautiful, I found some students intellectually stimulating, that’s about it. I feel…nothing. I don’t feel particularly miss out, jealousy or losing something.

Especially now I’ve tried the PhD route, the one thing academic used to had its charm (for me), is fading too.

I don’t know if it’s a good thing or I’m gonna lose opportunity because of it.

…

Saw banker again.

He acted perfectly but my alarm is ringing.

…