2025/5/23

I was so fucking exhausted and was secretly angry at everyone because I feel like I’m taking the heavy load myself and dragging this thing forward.

Sometimes I feel very alone. What makes me feel better is I know people are trying to help. And I’m not really alone.

I was at a conference two days ago. There’s a stupid guy who’s doing WiFi chip(which means he doesn’t understand shit what we are doing), talk to me in front of a stand who’s making in memory compute. ‘It’s currently the most advanced and popular direction.’ He introduced in a braggy tone. I asked if he’s from this company. ‘No, I make WiFi chips. I’m not from this company.’ He said.

‘You should exchange contacts.’ My sister said.

‘I’m doing something similar.’ I pointed at the stand. He looked up and down me, changed his tone about this whole thing completely. He asked me what I’m doing. I explained.

‘There’s no way you can make this happen.’ He said. ‘Who’s your customer? Who’s going to buy your stuff? You are just going to be another failure on the market. There no usage of such thing and surely no demand.’

He continued to say some mean stuff. I walked away.

‘Please don’t tell me to exchange contacts with random people anymore.’ I said.

‘He’s such a loser.’ She said.

We walked to a restaurant.

She saw what happened during the day where professional, mainly men, ignored me or didn’t took me serious in the beginning. One guy asked if I’m the business operation people and another said ‘link me up with your tech for your further information.’

‘They are just saying this because you are a young woman.’ She said.

‘Yeah.’ I know. I know before I started graduate school. From the two idiots from a state clean energy lab. I told them on the first day the reason they are having strange structural reflection on their film is because the wind power on the wind knife is too high. They ignored me like I didn’t exist. A week later they came to the conclusion that the wind power is too high. Lmao. What a discovery.

I texted GRY about the situation. He played ignorant. When I asked didn’t he saw how difficult it was for his aunt and mum doing business, he admitted life is a lot better as men.

I’m going to be the richest person in China. And they can eat my fart. I texted.

There’s no need to prove yourself to other people. He texted. I already given up.

You don’t understand. It’s not one or two rare cases. It’s across the board. And it’s disgusting. They are the only reason that reminds me why I can’t just stay at home. I replied.

In the afternoon, I met a few interesting people to talk to.

One guy approached me after I talked to a CPU core vendor.

‘How about I give you a core for free?’ He said.

A typical CPU core range from 50 to a few hundred thousand pounds.

‘So where are you from exactly?’ I asked.

‘We are very lowkey.’ He said. ‘Corelabs.’

Ooooh Corelabs. I pretend to not know what’s going on while he convinces me how good his product are.

When he left I told my sister about this.

‘Are they good?’ She asked.

‘They should be VERY good. Theoretically. Better than the vendor I talked to in the afternoon.’ Their CEO were AMD’s previous CEO. It’s hard to imagine they fuck up making CPU cores.

‘Why are they giving it for free?’ She asked.

‘Because they are only licensing me once for free. If my thing does have a market, and their thing is good, for the sake of saving time and energy, I wouldn’t change them.’ I said.

‘So they are aiming for the later.’

‘Yes.’

There’s probably so few client in the industry, it’s a standard practice to approach everyone who you think might be serious.

I might get a free tape out. And from this guy a free core. Can somebody give me some free IO and EDA too? 🤣