2025/10/11

At 2 AM I was incredibly fucking stressed bc I’m worried I might run out of money before the next round comes in (let’s be honest 300k usd is peanuts for making chips), I’m worried I’m not able to hire the people I need so I won’t deliver in time so I fuck up big times because I already have (mini) clients asking if they can try the product, then I start to worry if I can ACTUALLY make a transformer chip or not, then I forced myself to think I did soooo much work on it I know I CAN make it it’s just a matter of time, extreme complexity I’ve never handled before, it’s just engineering, everything engineering can me done if you are patient and grind enough, it’s not like some crazy shit like making a worm hole or a UFO, it’s fine it’s fine, just do it

Then I received Jerry W’s message asking if I’ve written the technical description yet.

Fuck. I’ve completed dropped it at the back of my mind a week or two ago. Because I’m not sure how much I should tell him- do I tell him our secret sauce or not??? It fucking stresses me out at the time because I wasn’t sure who will see this page in the future. Will we have competition? I think we will at some point, but I don’t want him/her to be inspired or anything (at least not before I start to sell my stuff 😭). Then the other thing that stresses me at the time is he manages a fund from Cayman, dollar fund, they would like the money to stay aboard, I, on the other hand, been tugged between Chinese investors telling me to stay there’s hot money coming in, and rude reality that anyone can and will insult me and tell me I’m not good enough and my stuff is shit + how dead innovation is here (I mean ok I’ll take insults from customers if my product doesn’t work. It’s my fault. But not from some random guy at some random ‘investor’’s living room.)

Sometimes I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself- as if I always need to find a way of stress.