2024/7/22

As usual I made some weird noise and giggles at home. It’s a pretty normal thing as far as I concern. I don’t believe anyone who said they don’t made odd squeaks and squeals when they are in a safe comfortable environment.

‘You laugh like the evil supporting character.’ My niece passed and said.

‘I’ve never got the supporting character script in my life. I am the main character.’ I said.

‘Ok, evil main character.’ She said.

I made another evil laugh.

She laughed too.

I laughed again.

She laughed again.

Why wouldn’t anyone want children? (Yeah yeah yeah i know. A lot of my friends.)

Apart from the work, they are so fun. Especially when they grow up and start to form their own characters, when you realise they are individuals, with independent opinions and thoughts.

Last week I texted HHZ about my thoughts- I was at parents day for my niece. Before we were just chatting the education resources at home. I feel like her form tutor is way too stressed, and put a lot of pressure on her own child. Such as she explicitly told her child, the focus of the family will be entirely on her for the next 5-6 years until she’s in university. I mean that might be true but I don’t see why you should tell your child. Anyway, my point is, I think the road for a person is walked by oneself. No matter how intimate the family might be, we can only walk and support the journey for each other, if I had a crappy grade, if I failed my career, I can never blame my mum. And my mum never complained she sacrificed years of her life for me.

I think the child can feel it if she put six years of weight on him/her. That sounds like a lot of stress.

Then my fear of ‘what if I can’t be a good mum’ resurfaced. 😂