2024/4/22

Was playing puzzle and thought about Sarah. I don’t know if I should unfollow her. I also felt like I’ve known something more about her which I don’t like, and things I didn’t understand before. I never understood what he meant by addicted, I thought he liked me. Now I do.

She said it felt so good to cheat, it’s ‘so fucking exhilarating’ she understands why men do it all the time. She gave a mini speech about how it doesn’t matter and she didn’t plan to be a good wife good mum type of woman anyway. It took me a few seconds to realise it’s the action itself that’s giving her thrill, the action of betrayal and in a sense ‘leaving Bernie’ that made her happy. It doesn’t matter who she’s cheating with.

I thought that’s sad. But I guess if the men she’s involved with wasn’t taking her seriously, if they are just using her as a quick fuck too, it’s not the same situation as me, nobody’s getting hurt except Bernie.

I cried after I heard all this, when we walked outside.