2022/5/18

Woke up and cried.

It felt like hit me in the face after giving me candy then take it away. Electrocute me right before I get anything pleasurable. It’s blades shredding my heart, it reflects on my body with every nightmare I woke up from. It’s the corrosion deeply etch to every nerve, every cell in my body, that screams pain from the abandonment, the wait, the endless torture where he comes and goes as he please. It gives me fear to reach out or even think about anything good. No wonder my soul shiver and shrivel.

I felt disgusted, by myself, my own weakness, the curse I cast on myself.

I want to heal. I really want it to be done.

…

Ohlala goood morning !