2026/5/3

I always thought it’s good to keep a diary, if I collect my ramblings over time, I would know what I did when I look back, so time won’t be a blur.

But I’ve been too busy, to write, to have a holiday, to some foreign country that I’ve never been, talk to a random stranger over the bar. Not only my life have accelerated, It felt like everything in the past have been compressed.

Had my first demo day, had 500+ new contacts over a day. Always have more than a few dozen new messages when I wake up everyday.

Hired some people, fired some people. A bit hurt , a bit disappointed. But I’m sure we’ll have someone.

Talked to some new men, ran away before any mistakes happened, got a tiny heart break once, it happened 1 day before demo day, I was on the bathroom floor hating myself being so helpless but also I cried all my past tears out so I guess that was good. Not him, but all the reminiscence, the regret, the anger, the love and hate I carried.

I’m surprised I found myself lost interest over the next few weeks. It was a pretty smooth transition.

Earlier this month or sometime I saw a person unblocked me. I didn’t know what to do.

Got into chip start, guess I’m moving back to the UK.

I was having lunch with big D, he recently got poached by boiler room and got a big raise, I’m happy for him.

We talked about one of my past acquaintance, big D said I’m pretty dominant.

Me? Dominant? I said in slight disbelief.

Yeah you are.

No I’m not?!

Not in the way you demand people to do stuff. As in you know what you want.

Ah ok. I said.

I never considered myself dominant. I even consider myself shy in (any kind of) relationships. I’m also not particularly dominant in bed either. I don’t like to always take the lead. It’s suppose to be a tango and people should be switching up whenever they feel like it. I want a big family but also don’t want to be the ‘head of family’ where everyone circles around one person, I’ve seen those and it’s stressful af. I prefer people take their own cognitive load majority of the time, then share and help others.

We sat in the park, I ask him what he thinks of the economic prospects of the UK.

I think the worst had passed. He’s said. It’s been going shit for so long.

So you think it’s the bottom. I said.

Yeah… it can’t go any worse. He said.

Tbf Keir Starmer looks like a good PM.

Everything was so difficult.

I feel like I’ve been in a pressure cooker. I said.

Pressure make diamonds. Look at you. Big D said.

Dude.