2025/3/15

I feel sad.

I’m at my cousins place today. They just got married, it’s very very sweet. They keep talking about everything, they think about how to renovate their flat together, they plan what they want for future. As if… they are a team.

I watched him hugging her from behind and they giggled, he took the trash out earlier, she asked who did this, he said he did it. Oh of course it’s you! You are so nice. She said.

It’s full. He said.

It’s so happy. And normal. It’s the kind of love life I want. Living together, doing stuff together.

It made the money I raised the last couple of days look so… thin.

He takes the salary home, she manages all the money, take care of the two of them, and they make decisions together. Maybe this is all I need. A man’s salary. Not 100 million. 1 billion. 10 billion. 100 billion.

I cried alone in the guest bedroom while writing this.

I miss home.