2024/8/23

My aunt’s in-law is dying.

Later in the afternoon while we were making pickled plums my mum said, if she’s struggling to live, if she’s too old and too frail, if she can’t eat, can’t go to the bathroom by herself and doesn’t understand who she is anymore, don’t save her and don’t keep her alive. My heart skipped a beat. Can we talk about it later? I said. I don’t want to think about it now.

What’s the point living without dignity? She said.

I’m sure the technology will be different by then. I said.

How different can it be? She said. It’s the law of nature.

I have stopped crying randomly, although if I recall certain memories they still gave me physical pain and my eyes tear up uncontrollably.