2023/9/14

A week ago I was walking down the streets with Sarah and told her I felt like a failure. She keep asking me who am I comparing myself to. I’m slightly confused because I never thought about it. ‘Nobody.’ I said. I genuinely wasn’t thinking anyone specific and didn’t understand why she asked.

I sneaked out of some lectures about egyptology where I barely know anything- it felt like college again. It’s silly but I was giggling at the thrill of NOT attending lectures.

This feeling plagued me for a long time, more than a year, maybe two, or maybe it has always been there. 😂 I feel like my life has stagnated. I said. I stop playing sports, wearing pretty dresses. It felt like I have no social life, no love life, I felt like I wasn’t doing anything, while everyone I know whooshing by.

She asked what I’ve been doing.

Nothing. I answered. Reading maybe. A lot of reading. Lots and lots of reading.