2023/3/26

My nipples are hard for no reason again 🥲😭

Why WHY

…

I figured preference for horses tells something about a person’s personality. Benjo is my favourite at Beaufort (Schnaffel second), someone else hated him. ‘He’s probably my least favourite horse.’ She said.

‘Why?’ I was genuinely surprised.

‘He seems like have his own mind.’

‘That’s the best part of it no? He's smart!’

‘that's horrible, he has opinions where we should go.’

I wanted to say he probably play polo better than you, both of us to be fair, but that would be quite offensive consider I'm not friends with her. Those animals spend all their life playing this sport. I suspect they play better by themselves if humans are not involved, like horse football or something.

She’s right about something though, Benjo is like autopilot, the only time I was on him I didn't need to worry about stirring or get him moving, he jump straight in, all I need to do is to make sure my shit swing doesn't get in his way.

You can tell a horse’s personality 10 mins in and so do they, they secretly judge us too. If it's a bully they won't respect giving them long reins and minimum leg, if it's hot tempered it'll get rid of you first chance they have, some are passive aggressive, some laid back and chill, some very smart, once they have a feel of what you want they'll cooperate with the slightest hint.

My riding was never disciplined enough to do dressage (actually never liked it and don't even see the point of it), in the UK they do expect a high standard. Riding without a saddle or rein is easy for me but follow certain beat is a nightmare- and of course I blame English saddles are thicker so it's hard to feel.

Freddie gave us a lift back. AJ made a lot of sexual jokes, some are actually funny. It's a bit like how I feel about Cardi B.

We also had a tiny chat about dating culture here(from one of AJ’s jokes) basically he said sometime like put fingers in multiple pies or something(Ew😂), I said I’m not seeing anyone simply because I find hard to adapt dating culture here (and secretly find it revolting) I can't date multiple people at the same time, and I don’t want STD. Freddie said its gonna be hard to anyone who doesn't do that, and it's important to ‘try before you buy’😂, I said I'm not against trying, I think trying is very important, I just don't accept multi-threading, bc strategically it wont work for me, it’s a waste of time if I scatter my time and effort on multiple fronts and end up knowing nothing about anyone. And what if after a while I realized he's the one? I wouldn't want him to know I was dating multiple people. Aj said it's more like a girls thing bc biologically this this and that, Freddie said some girls do it too, I said you are making a biological argument against a personal choice (if I'm being honest his argument is crap too, by his logic men can produce a lot of sperm so it's natural to spread around. This is pure stupidity. if I'm making this a genetic arm race I won't choose monogamy either, I can have as many offsprings with a diverse gene pool as possible and 100% those offsprings are mine, who tf give a f if those children are some man’s children? They might as well not have any if they don't have a substantial amount of sex with me and keep their reproductive cells close.

If in a non-monogamous society without other factors like status and power, if men do want offspring they probably need to have sex and empty their balls all the time, with the uncertainty if they'll have a child of theirs. The same competition of ‘who can get me 🤰 first’ in all other animal species. literally you can't do anything else. I mean I don’t mind, I love sex! but still what’s the point? I want to do other things too

Patriarchal society give many men a illusion they gonna ‘get more’. Monogamy is actually an insurance for the majority of men. If the world is polyamorous, a ‘free market’, 90% of men won’t even have a chance to have offspring. It’s sheer arrogance to ignore the privilege he has because women are slaves under the system.)

Which AJ then replied it’s a bit like it’s admired for men to play the field. He quickly realized the wrong word choice, not admired, he said, I mean…. It depends where you are. I cut his sentences. Like I said it’s more like a culture thing, this kind of behavior wont be acceptable back home.

In fact, I thought, what I’ve seen is people generally won’t do business with a promiscuous person. If they know you have ‘another women’, dating casually or having prostitutes, they’ll cutoff partnership ASAP from the fear or discomfort they might associate with scandal. And definitely no chance if someone work for the government. 😂 Boris Johnson would’ve been in jail if he’s a Chinese politician.

I don’t mind though. I said. It’s other people’s choices, and if it makes them happy they do them.

…

Thoughts when I’m back home:

There’s a trick to find sweet peaches. Smell the butt of the 🍑 if it smells fresh and peachy it’s sweet. Same for Melons.